Hello, I'm Nitsuj Yssov
and welcome to the GWA Debut of GWA Goons. We have a brilliant show up
for you today!
And I'm the foreman,
Dr. Zeus Xavier, also joining us tonight is "Diamond" Joe Aardvark, good
evening Joe!
Thanks Doc, well our
card tonight brings out the best and only members of the GWA. First up
we have a match between bLaCk KnIgHt and The Man in a Trout n' Ladder Match.
Then we have the West Islanders against the Haughty Troupe, TBK and Munchy
Man. A match between President Kowalski and Alex Wood before the main event.
And that is for the GWA Alliance Hero, between Sitcom Sam and Abe.
Wow, what a night
it'll be. And our first competitors are coming ringside now as we cross
to ringside announcer, Jesse Springer.
("Black Night" by
Purple Haze is played and the crowd all light up joints. Out comes a real
weird guy in the weirdest out fit.) Coming in at 386 pounds from Memphis
in Tennessee, accompanied by Lucy Lawless, bLaCk KnIgHt! (The crowd all
point at the chick on his arm with gaping jaws. Is that really that Xena
chick?)
Coming in at 376 pounds
and 6 feet 9 inches, represented by Miss D-Vine, the Man! ("Sexy Thing"
the original version, by Hot Chocolate, plays. He walks out pointing at
everyone in the audience, occassionally kissing sexy chicks in the audience.
He sees bK in the ring stops and stares at him. He points and shouts out
something.)
What's this? They
don't know each other, but the Man is upsetting bK somehow. We'll be saying
bK tonight because bLaCk KnIgHt is to hard to pronounce.
DING! DING!
The bell rings and
the Man walks up to bK. He hits him on the chin.
I wanna see blood
tonight!
What, are you sadist
or something?
I choose my religion
and you choose yours, got it?
Back to the match,
the Man just executed the Move. A scorpion deathlock submission. And bK
is in pain. The Man releases and executes a perfect DDT.
Climbing the ladder,
the Man has the trout. He has the upper in this match.
Wow, I'm gonna see
some blood!
Freak! The Man hits
bK over the head with the trout. He has to KO his opponent with the fish.
And he's nearly there.
He swings and bK ducks,
now bK hits him with a reverse Frankensteiner. The Man's dropped the fish.
The Man's dazed after
that move, he's stumbling 'round and bK's got the fishy. WHAM! The Man's
out cold!
What a turn of events!
bK came from behind to win that match.
Your winner, bLaCk
KnIgHt!
Now coming into the
ring at a combined weight of 785 pounds, Hawaiian Harry & Harvey, the
West Islanders